Festive Motherisms Feat. Nora’s Beauty Regime, Merkins, Real Housewives of New York, and Andy Warhol’s Tote Bag…

  It’s November and, after posting something about myself looking like a gimp on Twitter, I had to explain to my mother what a gimp is. Mum: So, […]

Motherisms Feat. Sweet Release and Cancelling

Lockdown has been eased. It’s June, or maybe July, it doesn’t matter any more, and we’re heading to a wedding dress fitting. In the car we both get […]

Motherisms feat. Corona Virus

I have been paranoid since late January about COVID-19, a virus that sounds like one of the many tediously named planets at the arse-end of the solar system. […]

Motherisms Feat. Memory Lane, Poet Laureates, and The Fiery Pits of Hell …

It’s that time of year again (my birthday), and to my mother’s delight (I’m sure), I imposed myself on her in Devon for a whole week. And we’ve […]

Motherisms feat: Sinatra’s Secret, Corruption, Moomin Butts and Lizzie Borden

It’s Christmas Eve. I’ve just returned to the room after wrapping mum’s presents. It seems mum is worried that I didn’t take long enough … Mum: The thing […]

Motherisms Feat. Football, Time Travel, and Woke-ness

It’s been another turbulent few months of political unrest and all signs are pointing towards the End Times. Mum and I have been dealing with the often-disturbing nature […]

Motherisms Festive Specialé 2.0

It’s been an interesting year to say the least. But, here we are, mum and I at the end of it, still standing, still talking to each other […]

Motherisms: Festive Specialé

I would be a scrooge to allow the festive season to pass without some of these. So, it’s the run-up to Christmas … Mum: I always think of […]

Motherisms: Feat. Summer, Groccles and Full Moon In Aquarius …

It’s summer in North Devon. The swifts and swallows have arrived, as have approximately 9 million caravans and wankers with weekend surfboards. All the roads are blocked, there’s […]

Motherisms Feat. Politics, Driving and Poets …

I’m still at close proximity to Mum. Which means I just can’t help interacting with her … Someone’s on TV massaging a piece of pork with the sort […]

Motherisms: The Great Escape …

I know. It’s Valentine’s Day, I’m so sorry. It is now as inevitable as needing the loo eventually. There is no escape from its cellophane-wrapped clutches. BUT, don’t […]

Motherisms: The Return

It’s been a while, too long I know some believe, but sometimes life doesn’t give you much amusing ammunition. Fortunately for everyone we’re emerging out the other side, […]

Mothers Day Motherisms Special: Featuring Death, Diginitas and Gladiator ….

It’s Mothers Day! Yes mum, Dignitas hasn’t taken you yet. So let’s quickly get out some more of your weirdness while we can, before they come and wheel […]

Summer Motherisms …..

Here is a long overdue sprinkling of words I have heard my mother say over the summer, may they get you through the last of it ….   […]

Motherisms: Kings Ginger and Crimbo …

It was a big day for Jesus, it was a big day for everyone, it was certainly a big day for mum. Christmas is upon us again.     […]

Motherisms: Impending Doom/Christmas …

It’s been a period of review for me according to the stars, who always give me the most reliable life advice, and what better place to end that […]

Motherisms: Feat. Breaking Bad and Escorts ….

Last week I went down to see mother, it had been a tough fashion week and I needed to feel looked after. I’m twenty seven, sorry mum … […]

Motherisms: Mum Gone Wild …

It has been a fair few moons since our last dose of ‘Motherisms’ but you’ll be relieved to know little has changed …   We are talking about […]

Motherisms: Olympic Special …

  It’s early August and there’s a party feeling in the air … the Olympics has arrived in London and down in Devon, mum’s about to have her […]

Motherisms Feat. Vajazzling …

  Having had the sensation recently that London had worn away my funny bone, I decided it was time to head down to Devon for the weekend for […]

    Yes, hello hello little mice. As routine as disappointment, but hopefully less disappointing, it’s time for another round of Motherisms! Wahey! Mum has just picked me […]

Motherisms Feat. Daughter …

Twenty-five years ago today I arrived on this planet with no idea what it had in store for me, or what the hundreds of other little people on […]

Motherisms ….

  Well, here we are again. Motherisms on Mothering Sunday I hear you chortle. How apt of you Jade. It is rather isn’t it. Today is a day […]

Motherisms …

  It’s Christmas, time to hang out with the mother. She’s a smart lady and I don’t think realizes how funny she is. So it’s time take note […]