It’s November and, after posting something about myself looking like a gimp on Twitter, I had to explain to my mother what a gimp is. Mum: So, […]

Lockdown has been eased. It’s June, or maybe July, it doesn’t matter any more, and we’re heading to a wedding dress fitting. In the car we both get […]

I have been paranoid since late January about COVID-19, a virus that sounds like one of the many tediously named planets at the arse-end of the solar system. […]

It’s that time of year again (my birthday), and to my mother’s delight (I’m sure), I imposed myself on her in Devon for a whole week. And we’ve […]

It’s Christmas Eve. I’ve just returned to the room after wrapping mum’s presents. It seems mum is worried that I didn’t take long enough … Mum: The thing […]

It’s been another turbulent few months of political unrest and all signs are pointing towards the End Times. Mum and I have been dealing with the often-disturbing nature […]

It’s been an interesting year to say the least. But, here we are, mum and I at the end of it, still standing, still talking to each other […]

I would be a scrooge to allow the festive season to pass without some of these. So, it’s the run-up to Christmas … Mum: I always think of […]

It’s summer in North Devon. The swifts and swallows have arrived, as have approximately 9 million caravans and wankers with weekend surfboards. All the roads are blocked, there’s […]

I’m still at close proximity to Mum. Which means I just can’t help interacting with her … Someone’s on TV massaging a piece of pork with the sort […]

I know. It’s Valentine’s Day, I’m so sorry. It is now as inevitable as needing the loo eventually. There is no escape from its cellophane-wrapped clutches. BUT, don’t […]

It’s been a while, too long I know some believe, but sometimes life doesn’t give you much amusing ammunition. Fortunately for everyone we’re emerging out the other side, […]

It’s Mothers Day! Yes mum, Dignitas hasn’t taken you yet. So let’s quickly get out some more of your weirdness while we can, before they come and wheel […]

Here is a long overdue sprinkling of words I have heard my mother say over the summer, may they get you through the last of it ….   […]

It was a big day for Jesus, it was a big day for everyone, it was certainly a big day for mum. Christmas is upon us again.     […]

It’s been a period of review for me according to the stars, who always give me the most reliable life advice, and what better place to end that […]

Last week I went down to see mother, it had been a tough fashion week and I needed to feel looked after. I’m twenty seven, sorry mum … […]

It has been a fair few moons since our last dose of ‘Motherisms’ but you’ll be relieved to know little has changed …   We are talking about […]

  It’s early August and there’s a party feeling in the air … the Olympics has arrived in London and down in Devon, mum’s about to have her […]

  Having had the sensation recently that London had worn away my funny bone, I decided it was time to head down to Devon for the weekend for […]

    Yes, hello hello little mice. As routine as disappointment, but hopefully less disappointing, it’s time for another round of Motherisms! Wahey! Mum has just picked me […]

Twenty-five years ago today I arrived on this planet with no idea what it had in store for me, or what the hundreds of other little people on […]

  Well, here we are again. Motherisms on Mothering Sunday I hear you chortle. How apt of you Jade. It is rather isn’t it. Today is a day […]

  It’s Christmas, time to hang out with the mother. She’s a smart lady and I don’t think realizes how funny she is. So it’s time take note […]